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    SWITCHMAN - A man dedicated to doing less today than what he did
 yesterday. Looks his best when standing in the rain. Some of these men,
 after years of training, can spot a returnable bottle at 75 car lengths
 if the light is good. Can also carry three times his body weight in
 copper, brass, or grain -- depending on the season.

    HEAD BRAKEMAN - A new man who does all his thinking with his feet.
 Target of criticism for the rest of the crew. He can generally add
 short columns of single digits if not rushed.

    REAR BRAKEMAN - The conductor's stooge; a lazy fellow of average
 ignorance who bosses the head brakeman, tries to act like an old head
 while silently contemplating on how he would do the work were he the
 conductor.

   CONDUCTOR - A grouchy individual, void of soul, with a big head
and
 flat feet. Continually advising rear brakeman as to both handling women
 and running engines.

    FIREMAN - A mental midget with a pointed head, hero worshipper of
 the engineer. He is usually found talking to beanery queen or trying to
 figure his time. Also coaches student brakemen.

    ENGINEER - A marked success story, an authority on government and
 financial matters. Can usually write his own name. Has a burning envy
of
 roadforeman; spends most of his time at the water tank taking slack or
 oiling around.

    CALLER - An absolutely friendless character who takes fiendish
 delight in making calls to short when you want to eat and too long when
 you want to sleep. Passes the buck and sheds crocodile tears for the
 rawhided crew.  Apathetic soul when timeslipped.

    DISPATCHER - Dot-dash expert wired for sound. Tonnage hog and side
 track artist. A see all, knows nothing, poor guesser whose hobby is
 delaying trains.

    ROAD FOREMAN - A rare blend of talent and tact. A job taken by
 those engineers with a marked inability to handle switch engines.
 Usually promoted at insistence of customers to prevent further damage
to
 their goods.

    ASST. SUPERINTENDENT - Typewriter expert greatly impressed by his
 own importance. Loves to make tests and instruct students. Chief
 qualifications: learn to smoke cigars and look intelligent.

    SUPERINTENDENT - A brakeman or switchman who couldn't add short
 columns of single digits, abhorred criticism; couldn't act like an old
 head because he didn't know how to do the work. Chief qualification;
has
 a name with a nice ring to it to go on the timetable.