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May 30th: Just moved to Tulsa, Oklahoma. Now this is a
city that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and
warm balmy evenings. What a place! Watched the sunset
from a park lying on a blanket. It was beautiful. I've
finally found my home, I love it here.

June 14th: Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a
problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an
air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun
every day like this. I'm turning into a sun

June 30th: Had the backyard landscaped with western
plants today. Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze
to maintain, no more mowing for me. Another scorcher
today, but I love it here.

July 10th: The temperature hasn't been below 100 all
week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At
least it's kind of windy though. But getting used to
the heat and humidity is taking longer than I

July 15th: Fell asleep by the pool. (Got 2nd degree
burns  over 60% of my body.) Missed 2 days of work,
what a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though.
Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

July 20th: I missed Jerry (our cat) sneaking into the
car  when I left this morning. By the time I got to
the hot car for lunch, Jerry had swollen up to the
size of a shopping bag and exploded all over the
$2,000 leather upholstery. I told the kids that he ran
away. The car now smells like Kibbles and Shits. No
more pets in this heat.

July 25th: The wind sucks. It feels like a giant
freaking blow dryer! And it's hot as hell. The home
air-conditioner is on the fritz and the AC repairman
charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to
order parts.

July 30th: Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3
nights now. $1,500 in damn house payments and we can't
even go inside. Why did I ever come here?

Aug. 4th: It's 115 degrees. Finally got the
air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the
temperature down a little, but this freaking humidity
makes the house feel like it's about 90. Stupid
repairman pissed in my pool. I hate this stupid city.

Aug. 8th: If another wise ass cracks, "Hot enough for
you today?", I'm going to tear his throat out. Damn
heat. By the time I get to work the radiator is
boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell
like a dead cat!!

Aug. 9th: Tried to run some errands after work. Wore
shorts, and sat on the black leather seats in the ol'
car. I thought my ass was on fire. I lost 2 layers of
flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and ass.
Now my car smells like burnt ass and fried cat.

Aug. 10th: The weather report might as well be a damn
recording. Hot and Sunny, Hot and Sunny. It's been too
hot to do shit for 2 damn months and the weatherman
says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it
ever rain in this barren damn desert?? Water rationing
will be next, so $1,700 worth of  cactus just might
dry up and blow into the damn pool. Even the cactus
can't live in this heat.

Aug. 14th: Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 113
today. Forgot to crack the window and blew the damn
windshield out of the car.The installer came to fix it
and said, "Hot enough for you today?"  My wife had to
spend the $1500 house payment to bail me out of jail.